My dear feline companion and familiar, Lila cat, passed over on Friday 5 January. She went missing and we believe she was taken by a caracal in the early hours of the morning. Many of you will know her from my workshops and online courses. She was and continues to be a kind, loving and enlightening teacher as well a strong spiritual ally. She was fierce in spirit, independent and so resilient packed into a little 2.5kg body.
I shall start in honouring her wishes and trusting what I sense she wants. I know she is not nudging me to compose a rambling personal memoir, that's not her style, but what needs to be spoken. This is the ever present message of asking the animals for their guidance and help, especially when things get tough. Accept your own inner wisdom and voice again and again no matter how hard. Why do I say ACCEPT and not only trust, because our inner voice is always there somewhere softly within us bringing us the great peace and freedom we ultimately desire in communication with animals.
Over the course of looking for her, she and spirit sent multiple clear signs of guidance, including the snake skin which I wrote about last week. Normally I would summarise my blogs for social media, but I didn't feel to this time. Learning to truly trust is often about taking it slow and paying attention to details.
Lila was not seen all day Friday and did not come home Friday night, this had never happened before. The following morning there was still no sign of her despite searching and calling. She never went far from my home. I could also not locate her intuitively; it was a blank and I received no communication from her either. In the past I could always find her within 15 minutes, either physically locating her or she would come running down to the house when I mentally called her. I spoke with friends who are close to Lila and all of us had the same sense that she was gone, dead. Hearing this was difficult but at the same time it came with a deep inner peace, the same peace I have come to know when I have difficult conversations that need to be brought to light with clients.
It was then that I started looking for her elsewhere, not as a physical being but rather in spirit. As I was now open to this possibility, I found her here. I sensed her spirit in shock, she had not expected this and was acclimatizing to her new existence. Over the next few days I sent her love and gratitude. I focussed on a beam of unconditional light connecting us where ever she was. I kept the communication quite open as a part of me was still holding onto hope that I was wrong, but at the same time needed to honour the communication I was receiving that she was dead. Then on night 3 I received a crystal clear sign. Opening my novel that night, still thinking about her, the first words where my eyes landed were, “she’s dead.” Then, the following day another sign arrived. A neighbour posted on our WhatsApp group that his cat was also missing for the past 3 weeks earlier. They believe by a caracal. It all started making sense.
On day 2, I had contacted another communicator to try and locate her and communicate to her. I wanted a neutral opinion and he came referred as one of the best. I heard back from him on the Tuesday, day 5 with a report that she was alive and on a neighbouring property. Everything in my body went “that’s not true.” I chose to trust myself rather than anyone else, even if they had 20 years of experience in missing animals work and are world renowned. That’s when I consciously asked for a sign. The following day the snake skin arrived at my door followed by the email about letter go of fear. What I didn’t say in that post is that after seeing these two things my eye caught the new daily image selected on my google bar on my homescreen. It was a caracal. Out of the millions of images it could have come up with today, it was one of the red African wild cat that moves freely in the wild and along urban edges. They weigh about 12 to 25kgs are are well known to take doemstic cats opportunistically.
I did not need any more affirmations and allowed my heart to fully accept the messages and embrace Lila in spirit, blessing her journey onwards. She had lived a full, wild and happy life and now she back with the pure, pulsing spirit of the wild.
From when I started connecting with her in spirit, I had witnessed with my inner eye her slowly expanding into her new experiences as part of spirit. The shock had held her back from the instant expnasion I was accustomed to feeling with departed souls. I sensed small changes to start with and rather than trying to hold on I blessed her evolution. This past weekend, 10 days after her passing, I had the gift of seeing in my mind's eye her spirit so alive, playing and filled a wild light. I felt her equally embracing her new existence and alive with the knowing she is still heard from us on earth. It’s so important we honour each being’s journey as the individuals they are. So much peace is ignited in taking it slowly, day by day, asking, listening, accepting and moving forward on trust.
I wanted to write this as a letter to all of you who have lost an animal as reminder to turn to them and find them in spirit. Open your heart to their eternal love and powerful spiritual lessons. They will help you to release the pain of loss and find the answers you need within, always.
Always wild, forever free
I love your spirit and honour your life
Your wisdom, grace and strength has changed so many
May you live on in all of us
Greetings great snake
In my garden
nestled in the dewy freshness of dawn
I see you
Last night I asked Spirit for a sign and this morning, as I walked back up my driveway after taking the rubbish out, I gasped with glee at the magical gift outside my studio. The shedded skin spoke loud and clear to the question I have been sitting with. I won't go into much detail here, as I am not quite ready to share. It is about a loved animal that went missing a week ago and I sense (and feared) has moved across the veil into spirit, that she had let go of her earth skin.
Asking for signs is not something I do daily; sometimes they just appear after significant events, often with visits from wild creatures as this is where my love lies. A friend reminded me last night when we spoke of our missing animal friend to ask for signs in 3's. I had received 2 other signs earlier in the week and was accepting and digesting the message. So that's why last night I prayed for another sign. Not in a down on your knees kind a way, but in a deep down in my heart home-grown way. This 3rd sign gave the full yes, believe.
I could have missed nature's communication and communion this morning had I been lazy and left taking the rubbish out for someone else. It would have been such a pity, as it turned out this snake is connected to a greater web of learning. When I opened my emails a student of animal communication had written to me about her encounters with snakes in the past months, of their symbolism and meaning in her life of shedding skins and releasing fear.
I will write more when ready
Thank you nature
Phoenix arrived unexpected, as big moments tend to happen in one’s life. He taught me the essential lesson, once again, of simply trusting “the voice” within. To trust even when it means extending beyond the rational thoughts of “my life is too busy, I don’t have the energy, time, money …” Sound familiar to anyone?
One evening my dogs showed me we needed to walk at Sunset beach on the wild side of Muizenberg, Cape Town. I happily obliged, opening to what was needed that day. I had learnt that when they specifically ask to go somewhere at a certain time there is always a synchronicity to be experienced. We generally either run into old friends or help a lost doggie.
As we were walking down the beach and enjoying the evening breeze a plaintive howl echoed from the dunes. I turned and silhouetted in the fading light a husky sat alone howling. In my mind I heard the words “I’m coming home with you” and he started walking towards us.
Now, I was in no position to take on another dog at that stage of my life and I rather desperately looked around for an owner instead of graciously trusting the communication. No-one appeared. Another dog walker came past and told us he had been dumped at the beach the previous day. He had been let out of a cage on the back of a bakkie (pick-up truck) and the car guard was given a mince pie to give the dog as the vehicle drove off. Welfare and numerous good citizens was trying to catch him but he was evading everyone’s best attempts
As a professional animal communicator, for all of 2 years at that stage, I thought I had learnt enough by then to always trust “the voice” within as a deeper truth speaking, but in this circumstance I defaulted to the old “I’m too busy” narrative. I told the universe every reason why this could not happen, dammit, I had a lot going on. I had just moved house and still had workmen on site, my own big dog had developed fear aggression a few months earlier after an illness which we were slowly working through and this request was really pushing my boundaries. I spoke to the husky saying I would do everything I could to help him, including finding him a good foster and home.
I found myself going back twice a day with treats and my small dog, Trust befriended him. By the end of day 3, a big storm was approaching and boy did I pray hard that today would be the day we gained his trust to touch him. The universe, fate and Phoenix obliged and he slowly let me stroke his fur with the back of my hand. Within another 20minutes I slipped a loose loop of a leash over his head. He trotted behind me like horses do in join up peacefully. There was no struggle and no fear. And of course there were no other fosters available that day. He came home with me.
I learnt so many lessons from Phoenix over the 3 months he lived on my front stoep (veranda). It brought together everything I believed in about combining animal communication with consistent practical care and positive training. He strengthened my faith in myself as I put mind, body and soul into an unknown wonderful outcome for him which I believed in.
Throughout gaining his trust on the beach and his rehab I communicated to him each step of the way about what we were doing and why in simple, calm and clear images, thoughts and feelings. Trusting my sense and logic of what was needed every day with him. Extending myself by caring for him actually did me the world of good as I focused less on stressing about my own stress and more about getting on with helping another living being. I met wonderful people along way and learnt a lot about fostering.
Phoenix will always have an extremely special place in my heart. He found an amazing home with a doggie friend, kids and a large garden. His new proud trail running mum fell head over heels in love with him.
When you hear the soft voice of an animal within speak, listen, it is calling you home to yourself. When we speak with animals we share a language that is soul to soul which goes beyond you or me and into a greater connection of pure spirit. “The voice” may ask you to change, this is an invitation to stop and listen even more carefully. It often an opportunity to let go a little of what we think possible and to rather live in what we dream possible. It’s a beautiful journey and trusting truly is actually something we do in steps everyday again and again and again.
Reflect on your own moments of deep trust with animals. What were they, what was going on in your life at the time, how did they help you grow? How did it feel inside, was it a sense, a knowing or maybe a voice? We all have these moments in our lives. Remembering them and cherishing them helps us grow more of them.
Wishing you deep and joyful connection with your animal friends.
To celebrate 10 years of conscious communication with animals I have decided to share some stories. Stories have always inspired me, both real life and fiction. They nourish me and give me guidance in the journey of talking with animals, growing in compassion and grappling with simply being human in this beautiful world of ours.