My dear feline companion and familiar, Lila cat, passed over on Friday 5 January. She went missing and we believe she was taken by a caracal in the early hours of the morning. Many of you will know her from my workshops and online courses. She was and continues to be a kind, loving and enlightening teacher as well a strong spiritual ally. She was fierce in spirit, independent and so resilient packed into a little 2.5kg body.

I shall start in honouring her wishes and trusting what I sense she wants. I know she is not nudging me to compose a rambling personal memoir, that's not her style, but what needs to be spoken. This is the ever present message of asking the animals for their guidance and help, especially when things get tough. Accept your own inner wisdom and voice again and again no matter how hard. Why do I say ACCEPT and not only trust, because our inner voice is always there somewhere softly within us bringing us the great peace and freedom we ultimately desire in communication with animals.

Over the course of looking for her, she and spirit sent multiple clear signs of guidance, including the snake skin which I wrote about last week. Normally I would summarise my blogs for social media, but I didn't feel to this time. Learning to truly trust is often about taking it slow and paying attention to details.
 
Lila was not seen all day Friday and did not come home Friday night, this had never happened before. The following morning there was still no sign of her despite searching and calling. She never went far from my home. I could also not locate her intuitively; it was a blank and I received no communication from her either. In the past I could always find her within 15 minutes, either physically locating her or she would come running down to the house when I mentally called her. I spoke with friends who are close to Lila and all of us had the same sense that she was gone, dead. Hearing this was difficult but at the same time it came with a deep inner peace, the same peace I have come to know when I have difficult conversations that need to be brought to light with clients.

It was then that I started looking for her elsewhere, not as a physical being but rather in spirit. As I was now open to this possibility, I found her here. I sensed her spirit in shock, she had not expected this and was acclimatizing to her new existence. Over the next few days I sent her love and gratitude. I focussed on a beam of unconditional light connecting us where ever she was. I kept the communication quite open as a part of me was still holding onto hope that I was wrong, but at the same time needed to honour the communication I was receiving that she was dead. Then on night 3 I received a crystal clear sign. Opening my novel that night, still thinking about her, the first words where my eyes landed were, “she’s dead.” Then, the following day another sign arrived. A neighbour posted on our WhatsApp group that his cat was also missing for the past 3 weeks earlier. They believe by a caracal. It all started making sense.
 
On day 2, I had contacted another communicator to try and locate her and communicate to her. I wanted a neutral opinion and he came referred as one of the best. I heard back from him on the Tuesday, day 5 with a report that she was alive and on a neighbouring property. Everything in my body went “that’s not true.” I chose to trust myself rather than anyone else, even if they had 20 years of experience in missing animals work and are world renowned. That’s when I consciously asked for a sign. The following day the snake skin arrived at my door followed by the email about letter go of fear. What I didn’t say in that post is that after seeing these two things my eye caught the new daily image selected on my google bar on my homescreen. It was a caracal. Out of the millions of images it could have come up with today, it was one of the red African wild cat that moves freely in the wild and along urban edges. They weigh about 12 to 25kgs are are well known to take doemstic cats opportunistically.
 
I did not need any more affirmations and allowed my heart to fully accept the messages and embrace Lila in spirit, blessing her journey onwards. She had lived a full, wild and happy life and now she back with the pure, pulsing spirit of the wild.
 
From when I started connecting with her in spirit, I had witnessed with my inner eye her slowly expanding into her new experiences as part of spirit. The shock had held her back from the instant expnasion I was accustomed to feeling with departed souls. I sensed  small changes to start with and rather than trying to hold on I blessed her evolution. This past weekend, 10 days after her passing, I had the gift of seeing in my mind's eye her spirit so alive, playing and filled a wild light. I felt her equally embracing her new existence and alive with the knowing she is still heard from us on earth. It’s so important we honour each being’s journey as the individuals they are. So much peace is ignited in taking it slowly, day by day, asking, listening, accepting and moving forward on trust.
 
I wanted to write this as a letter to all of you who have lost an animal as reminder to turn to them and find them in spirit. Open your heart to their eternal love and powerful spiritual lessons. They will help you to release the pain of loss and find the answers you need within, always.  
 
Always wild, forever free
I love your spirit and honour your life
Your wisdom, grace and strength has changed so many
May you live on in all of us
Thank you